With a baby on the way and a wedding to plan, Ben and Sam Clementson were preparing for the rest of their lives together, however a devastating terminal cancer diagnosis changed everything for them.
Sam, a much-loved personal banking assistant from Carlisle, died in Eden Valley Hospice little more than a year after giving birth to the couple’s first son Theo, with Ben by her side.
They had brought their original wedding date forward and married months earlier, in February 2014, once doctors confirmed Sam’s cancer had returned and was incurable. Sam had initially contracted cancer the previous year after discovering a lump on her tongue, which was then removed, along with part of her tongue and lymph nodes in her neck.
It was feared her speech may not return, however, it did, and doctors were happy the cancer had been cleared.
Not too long after Sam started to suffer with bad headaches and following some tests it was discovered that her cancer had returned and spread. Sadly, there was nothing that could be done, other than options to prolong her life.
They accelerated their wedding plans, getting married as soon as they could and were joined by more than 100 family members and friends. A mini honeymoon followed and then it was back to the reality of the cancer treatment.
Admission to hospice
Over the proceeding weeks and months, Sam’s illness got progressively worse, and she was admitted to Eden Valley Hospice for a short stay to help her manage her pain. The care she received in the hospice allowed her to go home once again feeling improved, meaning she could spend precious time with Ben, Theo and Jessica, her three-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
During this time Sam was also supported by Hospice at Home Carlisle & North Lakeland and Macmillan nurses, as well as Ben leaving work to care for her.
In September 2014, with Sam’s condition deteriorating, community nurses recommended that she be admitted to Eden Valley Hospice again. She spent four days in the hospice being cared for before dying aged 34.
“The hospice was fantastic with us. It was fantastic from the moment we turned up,” Ben says.
“They helped with anything we needed, everything was taken care of for Sam, and for myself. The nurses would come round and do regular checkups and we’d speak to different counsellors, separately and together.
“We were looked after very well. I was able to stay on the sofa in Sam’s room and there was food available. I was able to go back and see the kids knowing that Sam was looked after so well in the hospice, so I could spend that time with them as well because it was obviously a horrible situation.
“We were able to have regular visits from family and friends, we really felt as though the hospice bent over backwards for us really, there was nothing that was too big or too small to ask. Any member of the staff would help us or if they couldn’t, they’d be able to find the answer and point us in the right direction of who we need to speak to and give us that guidance.”
When Sam sadly passed away, it was Ben who had to deliver the news to a then, four-year-old Jessica.
“It wasn’t nice,” Ben remembers.
“But someone from the hospice’s bereavement team offered to come with me and help explain to Jessica which was really reassuring.”
Fundraising efforts
To give back to the hospice, Ben has turned into a serial hospice fundraiser, taking on various physical challenges. He took part in the 2023 edition of the hospice’s challenge event Bikes Boats Boots, and is taking part once again in 2024, as well as competing in the 2023 Great North Run and again in 2024, which will be held on the 10th anniversary of Sam’s death.
“The hospice had a massive impact, not just on me but our whole family. We’ll try to raise money for the hospice by doing different things because of the care we received here,” adds Ben.
“I just want to raise as much money for the charity as we can through whatever means. Whatever it can be, the hospice has played such a massive part in our life and had such an impact that I’d like to be able to help other people who are in who are in similar position so that they can have the support and guidance that we had. It’s so important to me and that it would be to Sam, I know that.
“Sam was a very determined woman who became a strong anti-smoking campaigner after her diagnosis.”
