When former Carlisle United player Tony Hopper was diagnosed with motor neurone disease (MND) in January 2017, there was huge public support for his battle against the disease.
But what many people might not know is the vital role played by Carlisle’s Eden Valley Hospice in supporting Tony and his family during that difficult time.
Despite Tony’s wife Sue being a trained nurse, caring for him at home became an overwhelming challenge as she tried to juggle her job and raise their three young sons—Daniel, Adam and Jack, then aged 11, nine and five.
Sue explained:
“Tony was having really, really bad muscle spasms. He was in a lot of pain. His mobility significantly dipped. We were looking at each other and thinking, how are we going to be able to manage this?”
“I found it really difficult to manage his symptoms at home because you are relying on Cumbria Health on Call, GPs out-of-hours and district nurses.
“At home, there’s a lot of pressure. If you are a carer for somebody, and they need a lot of care, 24/7, it’s very difficult. I’ve got three kids, I was working, the boys were all at school.”
Feeling overwhelmed, Sue turned to Eden Valley Hospice, where Tony was first admitted for symptom control.
“I was a student at the hospice when I was doing my nurse training, so I was aware of the services, and I knew everybody was going to look after Tony really well,” she said.
“Just coming into the hospice, that weight is lifted because somebody else is helping you. There’s somebody there saying, right, we’re going to help you, let’s have a look at your muscle spasms, let’s try and get on top of that pain.”
“Let’s think about how we can get you sorted so when you go home, you’ve maybe got some care in place so that you will be able to manage with your mobility, let’s get some equipment in.“
“It was just realizing, actually, we’re not alone. There is a service here that can help us. We were in for maybe a week and then we went home in a much better place to be able to cope.”
Sue described how devastating it was to feel helpless at home, unable to ease Tony’s symptoms, and how the hospice helped them all regain strength and dignity during an incredibly hard time.
When Tony returned to Eden Valley Hospice for end-of-life care, the family found comfort in the familiarity of the setting and the compassion of the staff.
Sue said:
“The positive experience Tony had at Eden Valley meant that when he returned for end-of-life care, it didn’t appear scary coming back. The hospice was just phenomenal.”
“You can become a carer rather than husband or wife. But then when you come to the hospice, you can go back to being husband or wife because the care is taken care of. So, there is this nice kind of transition back to actually just being there for somebody. You don’t have to worry about anything else.”
“That feeling, when you just walk into the hospice and somebody’s going to help you. It’s amazing.”
Tony died aged 42 at Eden Valley Hospice on October 9, 2018. During his final days, Sue and the boys were able to stay in the hospice’s flat, allowing the family to remain together.
“We had the flat. The three boys came, they stayed. My mum came and stayed over. Tony’s family were able to come, because there’s plenty of space.”
“The hospice accommodated his friends coming in to see him. Tony’s friends were a massive, massive part of his life. His friends would come and sit with him. They were all absolutely amazing.”
