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Why Dying Matters

Why Dying Matters

It’s not always easy to know how to talk about death, dying and bereavement. Awkwardness, embarrassment and fear means we tend to shy away from connecting with those who are dying or those who are grieving. But when we don’t talk about what matters it can increase feelings of isolation, loneliness and distress.

Talking about death, dying and bereavement is nothing to be scared about. Having meaningful conversations about what will happen at the end of life are important to have with your family.

How Can We Help?

At the hospice we have a wide range of experience and knowledge not only in supporting families through death, dying and bereavement but also starting meaningful conversations with your loved ones. Whether someone close to you has died or you are looking for help in planning your funeral or writing a Will our staff will be able to help.

As a small charity, we don’t always have the knowledge or skills to support you through specific areas. However, we have provided a list of resources below which we have found valuable when speaking to our patients, families, carers and staff at the hospice.

If you can’t find an answer to your question below please get in touch and we will be more than happy to help. Please call 01228 810 801 or email care@edenvalleyhospice.org

Our Support

Family Support Team

Our Family Support Team are help to help and support our patients, their families and their carers. We can help manage the challenges in front of your, and help you feel more resilient and able to face the future with courage, all in the strictest of confidence. Select the links below to find out how our Family Support Team can help you, your family and carers.

Free Bereavement Support

This is open to anyone across the region, regardless of where your loved ones was cared for. The telephone support is staffed by trained bereavement workers. More information can be found here.

Our Publications

Our Getting Your Affairs in Order, Tackling Advance Statements and My Funeral Wishes booklets provide you with a range of useful information and guides to help you plan for the future. If you would like a copy to be sent to in the post or via email please let us know, email communications@edenvalleyhospice.org to receive a copy.

Your Will

Your Will is one of the most important documents you’ll make in your lifetime. Having a Will means that you can decided how your estate is distributed after you die. It is the only way you can guarantee that you family, friends and favourite causes get what you want from your estate.

If you die without a Will (intestate) your husband, wife or registered civil partner will not automatically inherit your entire estate. You will have no control over where your estate goes after your death. To ensure your personal wishes are carried out, you should make a Will.

For more information about how to make a Will please click here.

In Memory Giving

During the difficult time of losing someone special, it may be comforting to remember them and celebrate their life by donating to charity in their memory.

Making an in memory donation to the hospice is a very important contribution and one which can make the world of difference to us. It means we can continue to provide the very highest standard of care to those in our community who need it the most.

To find out more about In Memory Giving please click here.

External Support

Keeping in Touch

In this difficult time of coronavirus, we are all restricted from getting together with family and friends in the way we would like. This is particularly painful when someone important to us is so seriously ill that they might die, and we can’t be physically near them. Even though they are surrounded by people who are caring gently and kindly for them, it can be very hard to be apart from them.

If this is your situation, here are some ways that you and your loved one can feel closer together, even at a distance. Click the button below to discover some ideas on how you can feel closer. These ideas are intended to help whether or not there is a hope that they will recover.

Click Here to Discover the Ideas

Dying Matters Webinar

Members of the hospice team recently attended the Dying Matters Webinar: The way people die remains in the memory of those who live on': Dr Kathryn Mannix and Julie New in conversation with Hospice UK's Tracey Bleakley. We thought it would be valuable to share with our families as they talk openly about a range of topics.

The webinar was part of #IRemember (26 October to 1 November), a Dying Matters campaign to create a space to share memories, to start conversations, and to break a taboo around death, dying and bereavement.

The webinar can be watched here and you can watch the Q&As here.

Bereavement Support

  • Dying Matterss have a range of information about talking about death and bereavement
  • Cruse Bereavement Care offer support, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies.
  • Marie Curie provide information and support about death, dying and bereavement, as well as up to date information if you or a loved one is terminally ill and affected by Coronavirus
  • Child Bereavement UK offer a range of information about supporting children in bereavement and how to help.
  • Marie Curie offer telephone bereavement support.
  • Grief Chat enable people to access online support from a bereavement counsellor
  • Cruse Telephone Helpline offers a listening ear and emotional support

General Support

  • The Childhood Bereavement Network have produced a useful guide for ‘Keeping in touch when you can’t be with someone who is so ill that they might die'.
  • BBC Ideas have created a short film titled ‘Dying is not as bad as you think’ which is aimed at breaking the taboo that exists around death.
  • In this film Dr Kathryn Mannix talks about how it is time to talk about dying and it’s time for a public conversations.
  • How to plan for the end of life – Pyschotherapist Jane Rogers explains to ehospice what people need to consider when planning for the end of life, particularly during the coronavirus situation.
  • In this Tedx Talk Jane Rogers relates her experience of helping her husband have a “good death” and what she learnt from the process.


Suggestions for celebrating someone’s life if its not possible to attend the funeral or memorial

10 Ideas for Funerals and Memorials When You Can't Be Together

Families being scattered, unable to gather for funerals, is not a new thing. And, for that reason, virtual funerals aren’t new. Far from it. But currently, with the surge of restrictions for health and safety concerns, we are hearing about them everywhere. Funerals have turned into something difficult to recognise. In many ways, in addition to “normal grief”, people are left grieving the funeral rituals they thought they would have. There is a sense of loss around not having the expected rituals. So what do we do when we can’t be physically gather? We have gathered tips for our experience and ideas that so many of you, our amazing readers, shared. Click on the full post link to read descriptions of how to accomplish these ideas!

  1. Have something now and something later.
  2. Include people in the service even if they aren't AT the service.
  3. Crowd-source a virtual photo slideshow.
  4. Create a slideshow of memories or other words of remembrance.
  5. Sing and play music together (in real-time).
  6. Record a song as a family to be played at the service.
  7. Create a virtual-memorial book.
  8. Have family members and friends all do their own small ritual at the same day/time.
  9. Create a small memorial in your home or garden.
  10. Stream the service

More information about the ideas included above can be found at the What’s Your Grief website.

What’s Your Grief also provide a useful guide as to What to Send to a Funeral Instead of Flowers. More ideas can be found here