“What makes such a difference is that people there understand”
Fiona Sim was diagnosed with an aggressive grade four brain tumour on her 59th birthday, with a prognosis of only a five percent chance of surviving beyond 12 months.
Having worked at Jigsaw for four years, she already knew where she wanted to be for her end-of-life care. Fiona understood first-hand the care that the hospice could offer, and more importantly for Fiona, she knew that support would extend to those she loved.
“It wasn’t just because she knew she would be looked after”, says her husband, Rob Sim, “it was because she knew we would be looked after too.”
For much of her life, Fiona had dedicated herself to caring for others. As a nurse and health visitor, caring for people was simply part of who she was. Rob describes her as someone who always “put others first”.
He said, “She would do anything for anybody; that’s just who she was.”
When Fiona’s condition deteriorated and end-of-life care became necessary, Fiona was admitted to Eden Valley Hospice. She spent 26 days at the hospice. During that time, Rob stayed by her side every night. Her mother Jean, her brother Andrew, his wife Helen and her three sons visited regularly, spending precious time together as a family, and their family dog came too. “There was no pressure,” says Rob, “we could just come in here, and we could just be together. That’s what we wanted.” During her stay at the hospice Fiona was visited by many friends and wider family from all over the UK.
While the hospice team provided expert medical care and managed Fiona’s symptoms, they also focused on helping her continue enjoying the things that brought her comfort.
Fiona loved the television series Call the Midwife, and she had become determined to watch every episode from beginning to end. Rob recalls sharing many hours of watching it together in their room, “we watched a lot of Call the Midwife”, he laughs, “I don’t know how many hundreds of children I heard being born during that time!”
For Rob, it wasn’t just the clinical care and expertise that made a difference, it was the kindness behind it.
The family found comfort in knowing support was always there, day or night, “you could press the buzzer at two o’clock in the morning and somebody would come through and whatever was needed, it would get sorted. Nothing was too much effort.”
Alongside caring for Fiona, the hospice team cared for Rob too.
Hannah, a nurse who had worked with Fiona, regularly came to spend time and sit with Rob. “I had lots of conversations with Hannah.” Rob remembers, “she would just let me talk. Talk about how I was feeling and everything else.”
Rob remembers that everyone at the hospice had the same lovely and caring nature as Fiona. “You know that you’re in a place where you’re going to be looked after really well… they all want to do things for other people.”
Navigating Loss
With the loss of Fiona, Rob and his youngest son, Ed, accessed one-to-one bereavement counselling through the hospice. For Rob, the counselling sessions gave him the guidance and reassurance to navigate grief at his own pace.
Rob also became a regular attendee of the hospice’s Comfort Cafe at Brampton, a bereavement support group for those who have lost their loved ones, to find connection and comfort with others who understand. Facilitated by hospice staff and trained volunteers, the Comfort Cafe provides a space for people to talk about their grief – or simply enjoy a cup of tea.
Rob shares, “What makes such a difference is that people there understand. They know what it’s like to lose somebody. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.”
Emma Andrews, Bereavement Counsellor and Care Co-ordinator, shares “The Comfort Cafe is here for anyone living with bereavement. We know that grief can bring a fluctuating mix of emotions that ebb and flow over time, often accompanied by deep pain. But grieving isn’t something we have to carry alone. It’s shaped through connection: by sharing stories and finding comfort with others who understand.”
Emma adds, “We hope everyone who comes along leaves knowing that support is available, and they don’t have to face grief on their own.”
The Comfort Cafe gave Rob a place where he could speak honestly about his feelings, share memories of Fiona, and connect with others facing similar experiences. Ed also attended the sessions, allowing them both to access support together at a difficult time.
The Comfort Cafe remains a source of support for Rob, and he has found himself being able to provide some support and comfort to others who attend too. “I feel that maybe I can help other people a little bit just by listening to them and talking to them because of what I’ve been through.”
Fiona knew she would be cared for with comfort and dignity. She also knew – and what brought comfort to her – was knowing that care would continue to support those she loved.
