When Sharron was diagnosed with terminal cancer in July 2024, life changed overnight for her and her partner of 32 years, Terry. What they found at the hospice was more than just medical care.
Sharron was known for her wicked sense of humour, her love of gardening, and her passion for fell walking. Together, she and Terry completed 157 Wainwrights before her health halted their plans. Their adventures in their camper van, exploring the North East and Scotland, and Sharron’s newfound fascination with steam trains and aircraft, filled their years with joy and laughter.
“She was absolutely gorgeous in every way and really appreciated anything I did to try to look after her,” Terry recalls. “We had running jokes that always made us laugh together – even during her stays at the hospice, the staff joined in with our tea and toast banter.”
After recovering from Covid in early 2024, Sharron’s health took a sudden turn. Difficulty swallowing led to a devastating diagnosis: aggressive cancer in her neck and lungs. Despite the best efforts of their GP and palliative care team, managing Sharron’s pain at home became overwhelming.
“One of the palliative team suggested a stay at the hospice to get on top of the pain management. Luckily, there was a bed available, and she was admitted for pain relief and to see if we could get her stable enough for palliative radiotherapy,”
Like many, Terry admits he didn’t know what to expect from hospice care. “I thought it was only about managing end-of-life in the short term, and I expected it to be like a hospital – depressing, with everyone there to die. But having now experienced superb hospice care for both of us, I realise how important it is and what a hugely supportive experience it can be for the patient and their loved ones.”
The ability to stay with Sharron around the clock brought immense relief and fulfilled the promise he made to Sharron that she would not die alone. “Finding out I could stay with her was a huge comfort for both of us. The staff’s instant response whenever I pressed the buzzer, their help in maintaining Sharron’s dignity, and the small acts of kindness – like Jackie cutting Sharron’s hair or Jess making sure we both had clean bedding – made all the difference.”
“Having lived the experience, literally, I lived in the hospice for a few weeks. I have seen the ladies in the kitchen, whoever’s doing laundry, care assistants, all the different grades of people, everybody cares just the same. It’s real, you know, and they genuinely can’t do enough for you.”
For Terry, it was often the smallest gestures that meant the most. “Tea and toast were always on offer, and the staff made a running joke out of it, bringing light moments when we needed them most. Even now, when I visit the hospice, Andrea on Reception offers me tea and toast- it’s a small thing, but it makes me smile every time.”
Sharron’s anxiety about pain and the end-of-life subsided almost immediately upon arrival at the hospice. “Initial booking in with Kevin and his calmness and obvious capability, was an eye opener for both of us, as the hospice’s deeply pragmatic approach to pain management was explained. It took away a great deal of pressure on both of us.”
“It meant everything to me to see Sharron free of pain and relaxed, knowing that if she needed pain relief, someone would attend to us immediately. It was invaluable for both of us that I could be with her all the time, without any pressure to leave.”
When the time came, the hospice team ensured Sharron’s farewell was peaceful and dignified. “The staff lined the corridors as we moved to the Bluebell room after she died – it felt so respectful of her as a person, like an honour guard.”
“Being able to sit with Sharron in the Bluebell room after she died, and multiple people making sure I was coping in the cold, the blanket that appeared around my shoulders without me realising it, the hot cups of tea that various people brought without me having to ask. Everyone making sure that I knew I could stay as long as I needed to after she died.”
Terry’s experience has shaped his perspective on end-of-life care and inspired him to give back in every way he can – through regular donations, playing the hospice lottery, and supporting events. “The service and care provided by the fantastic team depends on its supporters for 80% of its income. Please don’t hesitate to do something, anything – every little helps.”
Terry also chose to give back to the hospice by leaving a gift in his Will. He explained that his decision was not just for the benefit of the hospice, but also to help his family.
“If, like us, you’re not married or in a formal partnership, then as from 2027 anything in your estate over £500,000 – for example, your house and anything else you own and now including any unspent pension pots – will be taxed at 40%. Anything I leave in my Will to the hospice, the estate doesn’t pay tax on it because you’re a registered charity. And neither does the hospice.”
“A lot of people don’t realise they can leave money in Wills. They won’t know about inheritance tax and the problems with it and the possibility of leaving some money to the hospice, which means that the rest of the family left behind don’t pay tax on it.”
“If I were to die tomorrow, it would make it a bit easier for the kids, and also, it does amazing work here, which means a lot to so many people. And will give me and my family some comfort knowing that my own passing will do some good for the hospice.”
He also hopes his story will reassure others who may be apprehensive about hospice care. “Try not to worry about coming into the hospice. Even if it is for end-of-life care, your relative will be superbly well cared for in every sense. As will you. The people at the hospice simply can’t do enough for you and your loved one, and they will continue to support you after your loved one has passed.”
Reflecting on his journey, Terry says, “Everyone should have the ability to end their days in dignity, in comfort, free of pain and fear, accompanied by their loved ones and with a high ratio of dedicated, caring staff to patients. The hospice enabled me to keep the most important promise I ever made to Sharron, that she would not be alone at the end. That is priceless.”
