“It’s hard to imagine what families like mine would do if the hospice was no longer there. It doesn’t bear thinking about.”
Samantha and her Nana Lou were best friends. As a child, Samantha spent most days with her nana while her mum was at work, and they were never happier than when they were baking together.
Their bond stayed just as strong as Samantha grew up. Living around the corner from each other, they were inseparable. So when Louise’s breathlessness turned out to be lung cancer, Samantha did the only thing that felt right: she left her job and became her nana’s full-time carer.
“Nana was just how you’d hope a grandparent would be – everything she did was for me and my daughter. And though she was fiery and always said what she thought, she had us wrapped around her little finger!”
That’s why when Louise was adamant she didn’t want to hear about treatment, Samantha knew she meant it. And she knew her nana’s determination to outlive the year she’d been given meant she probably would!
Fourteen months later, Louise started deteriorating quickly. Samantha was struggling to keep her comfortable, and getting her to the bathroom was becoming impossible. That’s when she asked for help.
“The palliative care nurse told me I’d done an amazing job, but it was time for some help from the hospice. It felt daunting, especially because nana always said she didn’t want to go there.”
But from the moment Samantha walked into Eden Valley Hospice, she realised it was nothing like the clinical, depressing place she was expecting. Straightaway she knew it was the right decision, and she’s certain Louise would agree.
“The whole team was there not just for Louise, but for my daughter and me too. They’d check on how we were doing. And when they saw my daughter was struggling, they brought her a comfort blanket and talked to us about hospice bereavement case. It was a nice feeling knowing we had that support.”
One of the things that meant the most to Samantha was still being able to spend time with her nana whenever she wanted – sitting, chatting and not having to worry about the next dose of medication or what else needed doing. By now, Louise couldn’t speak, so one of our nurses printed some pictures to help Samantha and her nana say the things they wanted one last time.
“It was nice to be a granddaughter again, not a carer. But I never felt like nana had been taken off me. The nurses always asked if I wanted to be involved in her care. I’ll always be grateful for that.”
The pair’s bond was so strong that when Samantha left the hospice one evening, something told her to go back. And thankfully she did.
“Nana spoke her first words in a long time in her final few hours. She told me she’d like something to eat, so I fed her some yoghurt. And just as I was leaving, she said, ‘I love you.’
Louise slipped away peacefully with three nurses by her side after Samantha left.
“I wasn’t with nana right at the end – it was what she wanted. But I know she was well cared for, we both were. The hospice gave my nana the farewell she wanted and gave me the support I needed when I had no idea what to do next.”
Knowing the hospice relies on its community for 80% of its care costs, Samantha has gone on to raise money to help keep hospice care in her community.
“I would have been lost without Eden Valley and so will always try to raise money for the hospice and the families who need its support.”
“If I could share one thing with someone in my shoes, it would be: trust the hospice. You’re not giving up, you’re accepting the help you need for you and your loved one. And it’s the right decision.”
